Subscribers to The New York Times got a little taste of our misery today as they sipped their wine cocktails and plotted to bring us closer to socialism and godlessness. “At a Time of Loss, Seattle Fans Hold On to Hope,” the article’s called, and writer Greg Bishop (formerly of the Seattle Times) gets the city’s elite sports personalities to weigh in.

Says Sir-Mix-A-Lot: “I like the Redskins because Jim Zorn is their coach. If you stopped in Seattle and had a cup of coffee, I’ll root for you. That’s how desperate I am.”

Says Big Lo: “I will stay positive. Unfortunately, some years, cities have bad times. And unfortunately, this just happens to be the year we’re being kicked around.”

The article just serves to remind the world of what a backwater we truly are. Boston has Stephen King and Ben Affleck, Chicago has Eddie Vedder and Bill Murray, New York has Billy Crystal and Spike Lee…we have Sir Mix-A-Lot and Big Lo. But I digress.

Thank you for acknowledging our suffering, New York media elite. But, as part of that whole spreading the wealth thing…do you think you could spare Carlos Beltran?