If the rumors are true, the Kansas City Wizards aren’t bringing their top players to Qwest Field tonight. Since we don’t know who’ll be playing, any player-specific heckling tips are out of the question. Thus, we must stick to franchise-specific heckling.
Heckling Point #1: “Wizards?” Really?
Sports NW highly recommends taunting Kansas City players with wizard names. For example:
“Nice pass, Gandalf! Truly, we cower in awe of your mighty powers!”
“Fantastic challenge, there, Merlin!”
“Oooh, magical shot, Dumbledore!”
Etc…
Heckling Point #2: Worth the scenery?
A former Wizards employee recently sued the team for sexual harassment, alleging that team officials would review the Facebook and MySpace profiles of job applicants to see if they were attractive. She further alleged that VP Greg Cotton justified the continued employment of one Wiz staffer thusly: “she’s the dumbest person I have ever met, but she is worth keeping around for the scenery.” STAY CLASSY, KANSAS CITY!
Heckling Point #3: Boy do you stink!
The Wizards are in last place in the MLS’ Eastern Conference, so the Wizards you’ll be watching tonight are the benchwarmers on a last place team. SUH-WEET!
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